The Lord's Prayer

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Funniest Product Reviews EVER!

Oh, Lord.

One of the blogs in my Reader is Growing Notes. Today, Megan has almost caused my husband to cause "water damage" his laptop...

She says:

Go read the product reviews on the Playmobil Security Checkpoint toy, on Amazon.


A few excerpts:


"This toy would be a lot more realistic with about 350 people standing in line for an average of an hour. It still makes a nice set with the interrogation room. "


"When we first set it up we tried it with my daughters African American Magic Jewel Ken Doll and Barbie Princess of the Nile Doll but they were pulled out of line before the security checkpoint and taken to a back room for "processing." We haven't seen them since but received a phone call from a buddy at the state department: something about "extraordinary rendition." I hope they make it home it time for the holidays. "


"I hear Playmobil is coming out with a waterboarding torture set. I think I'll wait for that and buy them together to save on shipping. "



My favorite reviews include:

"I was a little disappointed when I first bought this item, because the functionality is limited. My 5 year old son pointed out that the passenger's shoes cannot be removed. Then, we placed a deadly fingernail file underneath the passenger's scarf, and neither the detector doorway nor the security wand picked it up. My son said "that's the worst security ever!". But it turned out to be okay, because when the passenger got on the Playmobil B757 and tried to hijack it, she was mobbed by a couple of other heroic passengers, who only sustained minor injuries in the scuffle, which were treated at the Playmobil Hospital. ..."

and:

"Thank you Playmobil for allowing me to teach my 5-year old the importance of recognizing what a failing bureaucracy in a ever growing fascist state looks like. Sometimes it's a hard lesson for kids to learn because not all pigs carry billy clubs and wear body armor. ..."


So what are you waiting for? You'll laugh, I'm sure of it! (But please try not to spit liquid beverages out at your computer!) Go read the product reviews on the Playmobil Security Checkpoint toy, on Amazon.

Row your boat

While we were gone, my friend A (the Prince's little girlfriend's mom) taught the Prince and I a second verse to the Row, Row, Row Your Boat song. I love it and wanted to share.


Row, row, row your boat
Gently down the stream
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily
Life is but a dream.

Row, row, row your boat
Gently down the stream
And if you see an alligator
Don't forget to scream. Aaagh! (You scream!)

This is the last contest from me for a while...

Remember this?



SuzyQ, please email me with your snail mail address!

I'm a Winner!

YAY! I won Tina's Pay It Forward contest and my package arrived a couple of days ago- I'm terribly sorry that I haven't blogged about this earlier... but I haven't blogged at all recently. :(

So. Back to my surprise. The UPS man brought me a big box:



and I was confused until I saw the return address label (I wasn't expecting anything that size/shape from UPS!). When I opened the box I found all kinds of goodness inside! Crafty stuff for the kids:



They will LOVE those! I've decided to save them to spice up a boring day in the future.

Also, There was a book (looks good!), a sweet note, some beautiful fabrics (I've already used one FQ!), and a package of notecards (I always need more of those!):





My goodness, did Tina spoil me- because that wasn't all in the box! Oodles of scrapbooking fun:



WOW. I was totally blown away when I got through this box! I feel like I really was a winner... THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU to Tina!

Now... that WAS a Pay it Forward that I won. And even though I also had a PIF, I really need to hold up my end of the deal here. Leave a comment on this post, telling me what your favorite food is that you ate growing up. I'm out of town all week, so I'll close comments at midnight (Central time!) Monday night (7/28). The winner will be announced by Wednesday, 7/30. Good luck!

Not too bad!

61 words

Speed test

Pay It Forward Winner!

So I've been trying to figure out how to email my winner personally, but apparently I'm Blogger-challenged. I can't find any evidence of an email address on her blog, either, so I'm announcing her here and asking Swistle for her help as well.

I used random.org to choose a winner from the comments on this post, and EMama at Righters' Writings was the winner!

EMama, please email me with your snail mail address!

Men's Room Humor

Queenstown, New Zealand Hotel Unzips Eye-opening New Loo

Hong Kong's Peninsula Hotel and the Sofitel Melbourne often attract visitors from around the world who want to visit a loo with a spectacular view. Now Queenstown's newest hotel, Sofitel Queenstown, is joining that prestigious list with the most eye-opening male toilet of them all.

The second floor men's toilet, which services the complex's restaurants including Bezu and Fatz Cat, has been tastefully and aesthetically designed by the complex's developers Cam Marsh and Mark Perriam of Perron, and Brett Taylor of Group CDA. It features six unique individual 'stands' manufactured by Three Sixty Limited in Auckland.

But it's not the tasteful design or subtle lighting that has tongues wagging in the New Zealand resort town.

It is the six-metre long backdrop of life-size photographs featuring local models in varying poses directly behind each of the six stands - each with a full view of the action.



One has a tape measure out, one a pair of binoculars, another has a camera, a fourth is peering over her glasses and so the list goes on.

Queenstown photographer Sheena Haywood shot the images of models from local agency Ican -- after Auckland model agencies turned down the job when they heard where the images were going to be placed.

'We had a lot of fun with the shoot, made all the better for the fact that there weren't any men there when we did it,' said Sheena.

Queenstown Signs made up the huge posters which are protected (naturally enough) by a backlit glass wall, and there are plans to change the images on a regular basis.

'We were casting around for ideas with our Auckland creative agency Ideology to do something a bit different in the men's room when we hit on this,' said Perron Marketing Manager Peter Dallimore.

'The wall has only been in place for just over a fortnight and we've already had some very funny feedback. It's used by guests or visitors to restaurants and bars within the Sofitel complex.

'One guy said it was a bit disconcerting to be 'going about his business' and to have so many pairs of eyes watching him, a bit like the Mona Lisa effect. Others have called it 'hilarious' or say it makes them feel like going to the gym.'

Flush with success, Sofitel General Manager Mark Wilkinson said the men's 'loo art' had been a great talking point.

'It emulates the 'signature toilets' of some great hotel complexes around the world such as those in Hong Kong's Peninsula hotel, and the 35th floor toilets with an amazing wrap-around view in the Sofitel Melbourne.

'It's just a bit of fun and there have been big queues outside ever since word got out. We plan to change the look on a regular basis.'

Mr Wilkinson said he was now under pressure from those of the female persuasion to decorate the neighbouring women's toilets with something equally eye-catching.

'Christmas is coming so watch this space!' he said.

Swistle Groupie/Pay It Forward

COMMENTS ARE NOW CLOSED ON THIS POST!

So Swistle decided that a group effort Pay It Forward would be big fun this summer. All sorts of Pay It Forwards happening at the same time, then domino-ing and being a big fun summer fun thing... read about it here and here.

What will you win? Ummm.... I dunno. Maybe a collection of junk drawer/fabric stash/greeting card collection/Target. Maybe homemade cookies. Who knows? I'll figure that out and surprise you- I won't even post about your surprise so you can have fun opening your gift!

Enter by commenting on this post, with an answer to this question: It's Saturday afternoon and you have the whole afternoon to yourself- what do you do?
Entries will be accepted until 11:59 PM CST Friday, July 4.

Awards, awards!

Wowzas... I have been given 3 awards recently! QuiltDad chose to give me the Arte Y Pico award a couple of weeks ago, and Jay at Bailey's Buddy chose me for the same one tonight!

Also tonight, as a tongue-in-cheek response to all of these blog awards, Kurt bestowed upon me a very special award: the Grand Illustrious Most Excellent Blog in the World Award.

I feel so very appreciated!






















So. The rules for the Arte Y Pico award are:

1) Pick five (5) blogs that you consider deserve this award for their creativity, design, interesting material, and also for contributing to the blogging community, no matter what language.

2) Each award has to have the name of the author and also a link to his or her blog to be visited by everyone.

3) Each award winner has to show the award and put the name and link to the blog that has given her or him the award itself.

4) Award-winner and the one who has given the prize have to show the link of “Arte y Pico” blog.

Jay tried to give this to blogs that hadn't yet recived it- I apologize, I've just been behind on posting about it! I am also going to avoid giving this to those that I know have received it... though I know that they might just be like me and haven't mentioned it yet. I am choosing seven bloggers for the Arte Y Pico award, because I can't really choose 7.5 (which is a nice compromise between 5 and 10, because I've been given this twice).

1) Lera at the sky is pink is one of my favorite bloggers. She's a creative gal and accomplishes a lot for being a mother of 6. Even hubby has been known to read her blog!

2) AmandaJean at crazy mom quilts is so inspiring! She creates beautiful quilts, and is leading her own online quilt-a-long, all while being a mom to 3 young kids. I wish I knew how she finds the time to do as much as she does.

3) Jen at AmazingTrips is pretty amazing herself. She has triplets (age 3) and a 1-yr-old son. She has just gone back to work (to help pay for preschool!) and seems to be coping with work and home pretty well.

4) Jill and Meg at Bee-Boppin' the Boroughs. These gals are working their way through an NYC guidebook and blogging their experiences for us! Having only spent a short amount of time in NYC, I enjoy their walks through the city. Jill also has a crafty blog, where she recently announced her pregnancy- congratulations!

5) Finny at Finny Knits is a funny gal, and in her words, "not for everyone". When it's growing season, she offers many pictures of her gardens and the food that she creates from her garden (and a farm share)... when it isn't growing season (and sometimes when it is!) she shows off her creative side, complete with an honest rundown of her thoughts of said project.

6) Mary at MaryQuilts- Making Scraps Quilts from Stash does beautiful longarm quilting, and does quite a bit for the HeartStrings Quilt Project. She is getting to know a new city, and posts beautiful pictures of the scenery that she is enjoying.

7) Nanette and her daughters at Freda's Hive are so creative and always have interesting photos to share- from their own projects or those of their friends. Their first post is one of the better first posts I've read- a sweet story that explains the name of their blog.


Thanks to you that I'm nominating for brightening my days.
I have too many several blogs in my reader and it was hard to decide which 7 to choose.

Still not sewing, Just trying to breathe

I mentioned that things have been busy? And that it might be a few days until my next (this) post?

Well. I left home Friday morning to drive 3.5 hours to a church camp, where I spent my weekend. I was on camp for 50 hours and 25 of those 50 hours were spent certifying the camp staff in American Red Cross Lifeguarding, CPR, and First Aid. It was a good weekend, very productive, but long and hot. It was also the longest I've ever been away from my kids, which was really tough- good thing that I was so busy, because it was hard to be sad when I had to focus on the task at hand.



I was exhausted when I got home Sunday evening, and fell fast asleep just a few hours later. The kids were extremely excited that I was home, and hubby was thrilled, too- but he was thrilled for some relief from parenting more than anything, I think. Yesterday morning (Monday) I was scheduled to teach from 8-12 in a small town about 45 minutes south... so I spent another 5.5 hours away from the family, and then I taught another class last night (from 5-10). Not enough time with my kids, and too much time teaching! Today I also had the two classes, and for the rest of the week I'll be teaching in the evenings. This coming weekend I'll be gone Saturday evening and all day Sunday. Hubby is not happy. The princess is 2 and has driven him totally bonkers over the past few days...



Needless to say, I'm really looking forward to next Monday, when I'm done with this nutso teaching-all-the-time schedule that I've had recently. It never looks too bad when the schedule is being created, but when it actually gets here it seems to really suck!

In the past week, I've done virtually no sewing, cutting, or anything else crafty. Those darn blocks haven't changed at all- they still look like this:


I'm a week behind on the SQAL, but a week ago I cut out the pieces for last week's block... maybe this week it will get sewn... or not.

Busy Season

This is a crazy time of year at our house. It's the beginning of aquatics season, and my job is basically to help prepare the staff at the area pools for the season. Things get busier in early spring, then I'm jam-packed crazy in May and return to almost nothing in June. This week and next are insane... and I'm not having much time to post or sew these days. Those blocks haven't changed at all since I finished cutting them.

Not sure really when I'll post next- tonight, tomorrow, next week... but I'm here and still (at the very least) skimming my reader.

Four Men and Two Trucks

Our neighbors moved this weekend- a Penske truck was across the street most of the day for 2 full days. Not a small truck- a big, long no-nonsense truck.

This morning we looked out the window and saw not one but TWO trucks:



She had joked that she was going to hire "Four Men and Two Trucks", but I didn't really believe her... I guess I should have!

Anyway, this isn't something that you see everyday, so I thought I'd share.

Cosby Night

Tonight we went to see Bill Cosby. We were really looking forward to it, but honestly were disappointed. I laughed the hardest at the end, when he'd run out of new material and talked about going to the dentist- a routine of his that I've heard several times.

He started out talking about Thanksgiving turkey, a topic he wound throughout his entire routine... during which he spent about 45 minutes talking about a colonoscopy (Blogger's spell check is clueless with that one!). Really, Bill? Not really a topic I wanted to hear so much about.

Yes, I laughed quite a bit through the evening, but I don't think I'll pay to see him again. I really enjoyed the 5 minutes that he spent talking about his grandkids.

In other news, I've started reupholstering the kitchen chairs, and will also replace the curtains. I plan to post pictures asap- hopefully this project will be done soon! I've hardly had any time to craft or sew at all the past few days, I've been working every night this week. I have a list about a mile long of things that I want to get done (oh, like yesterday!), which includes additional blocks for my Two Color quilt. I'm really hoping to complete a few things tomorrow.

Aack! I'm 12 again!

Omigod, I just laughed so hard! My friend Sara just posted a video on Facebook and sent it to me, I'm telling you, I feel like I'm 12 again! I was totally gaga for New Kids on the Block when they were popular- Joey was SO cute! They were my first concert- I still remember so much of that experience. I'm almost positive that Boys II Men opened that show for NKOTB... can you believe that?!?

So I had no idea that they were singing together again, and to see this video- singing parts of their old hits- brought it all back, I laughed, I smiled huge, I sang along, it was totally geeky and absolutely hilarious. Thank goodness I only had the Prince to laugh at me... The one thing that really struck me, though- how old they all look. OLD. Entirely too old to be using the name "New Kids on the Block"... but it was still a great way to spend 5 minutes.

Beautiful Mom's Day Weekend

Yes, I got my Mother's Day gifts last weekend (and I'm still SO excited about them!!!), but this was a great weekend, too.

We bought and planted flowers in the planters by the front door:


I have a Stella D'Oro Daylily

that I planted last year. It did very well and I really liked it, so I decided to try another version of daylily in the planters across the walkway from it:

These are supposed to be a pink-purple color. Can't wait to see them bloom!

Hubby bought lots of mulch and did a lot of work in the backyard:


He also purchased flowers and planted our windowboxes:




A very sweet man- friend of hubby's- gave me flowers for Mother's Day:




My favorite flower is daisies, and I love the purple, too- so these are really great! Thanks, again Jay!

Hubby reminded me that I wasn't getting a gift from him this weekend because I got my bike and the trailer last weekend. I remembered, and it didn't bother me at all. I think we had a great weekend.

Oh- and I treated myself to a yard of a fabric that I've been drooling over. I really wanted this with a blue or green background, but I guess it's been selling out all over the place- red was my only option. If this came with a purple background, I'd buy it in a second- I want it in my kitchen! As it is, I'm considering re-painting my purple kitchen just so I can use this fabric because I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!!

Mary Engelbreit rocks.

HOLY. FREAKING. CRAP.

'nuf said